Sunday, January 21, 2007

I Enjoy Making You Hurl
Apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein

I lie, and by me that’s just great,
As I’ve been the first to admit!
Most my speeches skirt broad and narrow
With words non-jingoistic filled o’hate.

I enjoy being worshipped by the masses
And anchors that kneel and ask for grace.
Just go for a pre-screened X ray
For permission to look up upon my face.

When I almost have new boldness,
And excessive rhetorical zeal,
I cave just like egg soufflés do
As I enjoy making you hurl!

When pundits say I’m astute and crotchy,
And my words even slurred are pearls.
It just makes all my smirks go funky,
As I enjoy making you hurl.

I’m bats when an underling looks at me.
I drool over Bulldog wrapped in lace.
I’m buffed in the gym for hours,
With a new majority spitting’ in my face.

I’m strictly a born-again Christian,
With a Yale legatee degree,
On the phone with a friend of Poppy’s,
Who’ll employ fudgers of facts, easy old hacks…for…me.

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